So yeh, its a saturday night and I am currently in bed transcribing recorded conversations for my dissertation. When did I become so boring? Or should I say I’m becoming more responsible because here I am actually doing Uni work rather than just going out. Even though it is such a depressing thought to think this time last week I was In Newcastle about to embark on an eventful/dramatic night out(would not have it any other way with my mates). It is actually pretty crazy what happens within my friendship group, like you could not make it up. Maybe I will discuss some of the dramas in later blogs, something to look forward to….maybe.
The only thing getting me through this is knowing that this is all temporary, in a few months uni will be done forever. That is an absolutely terrifying thought especially for someone who is clueless about what to do with their life once Uni is finished with.
Honestly if I got a pound for every time someone asked me ‘What are your plans for after University?’ I wouldn’t need any, I’d have enough money! It has literally got to that point when its like ‘No comment, next conversation please’. Dont get me wrong I am looking into my options but it is so hard to actually commit to something for what feels like the rest of my life. However I do have a very open mind and I’m hoping without the distraction of social media I’ll start to get more focus on my potential career choices.
I envy those people who have always had a clear focus and clear path leading them to their chosen area. I do want to become like that I just do not think I have found ‘my calling’, sometimes you do just fall upon something and I am hoping by looking into different areas/contacting different people something will just slap me in the face and I’ll be like. Yes this is it. This is what I am destined to do.
In terms of the no social media, it has nearly been a week and I am still actually enjoying being away from it all. I have been falling asleep so much better, before it would take me hours to properly fall asleep and I think that may be because I’d ‘check'(and by check I mean lie in bed for hours scrolling) my phone. They say you should never go on your phone before bed and I think this does actually ring true so I am going to continue this even when I get my apps back.
I am still however curious, curious as to what I am missing and whether people have actually noticed my absence(probably not I dont really post often). This basically says to me that I am still getting caught up in other peoples actions and definitely need more time away from it all. I am going to try and get one of my research projects complete before I download all the apps or atleast stay of it for another 3 weeks. I think 1 month away is pretty good going and I have surprised alot of my friends by already managing this long.
I do not really have anything explicit to report today but I just look forward to writing in my blog, even though I ramble and do not share everything it is sometimes good to just be able to reflect on the day. Oh but I do keep dreaming about the guy I like, which is frustrating me even more because I just want to get him of my mind and I do not know what more I can do when I’ve deleted all ways to contact him. Catching feelings sucks when it is just obviously not meant to be. If anyone has any decent tips on how to tackle this problem I would love to hear them!
In the meantime, mother and I are off to try a horse out tomorrow which will fingers crossed by the perfect match for mother. Then I am back to Uni but only briefly as we do have the week of, I am mainly looking forward to seeing my Uni girls because they are honestly the craziest/sassiest/funniest group of girls in my life. They have defo helped me grow as an individual and most importantly never judge me for my actions. Stick with people who like you for you and do not change for anyone! Trust me on this one, it is better to have a small close group of friends then a load of fake ones.
Ciao for now x
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